gina

Wow I guess I kinda forgot I still had a livejournal. I'm pretty sure once I stated school I completely stopped writing. Not like I have anything important to write about. It seems school has distracted me from all the things I used to do, and all the people I used to see. but now it's summer so maybe that will change...

well I'll be a senior in the fall. My last year at UArts. It's great and all but I kinda thought I would have big plans for what I'm going to be doing with myself after graduation. There are some things I would like to do and I'm sure I can do them. But its a question of finding the right people to do them with. Lately I've been thinking about starting a Artist Studio Collective, where I can have my own painting studio, and rent out studio space to other artists. I would also like to have communal spaces, a wood shop, screen printing area, and maybe even a metal shop. I was even thinking about turning part of the space into a gallery so the artists in the collective could show there work and invite other artists to show there as well. This all sounds great to me, but I've come to realize that I can't do it all alone. I thought long and hard that if I expect to do this I need to find motivated, responsible and serious artists who are siked on the idea. That and the whole money thing is kinda getting in the way but hey...I'm sure everything will work out.

For now Its nice to see a few of you still write here... staying true to your roots is what its all about!
sometimes you just need a break from myspace with all them creepsters stalking you and shit. well I'll leave it at that like I said before I don't really have anything important to write about....

so i'm moving back to philly this weekend. i'm renting this really sweet house, and moving in with my sister, and my good friend genna. i'm pretty excited about it.


though i'm kinda bummed cause i miss a lot of my good friends that i haven't talked to/seen in a while. i wish we all lived closer and talked more like we used to.

I kind of disappear now and then. not by choice really, i've just been busy. i'm back home for the summer, but i've been working a lot. i finally found a place to live in philly, so i wont be homeless when i get back. i miss a lot of people, and others i wish i could get rid of( no one on here so don;t worry, its not you!) it's good to be home, but at the same time i can't get any work done here. there's no space for me to do my art and it drives me nuts. i finally have some time to work on my own stuff, but i'm lacking the space and proper materials. i have a lot less stress now that i'm out of school and i found a place to live. but now that i'm not as busy, there's more time to think about bullshit i've been avoiding. idk what to do with myself. my moods have gone up and down dramatically lately. idk what the fuck is going on. all i know is things need to change.

i bought the new bouncing souls album. it's great (not like i expected it not to be)and makes me very very happy! i can't stop listening to it. if you don't have it get it now!

do you ever get to that point when you feel you don't know yourself anymore?

i’m at a loss lately. i haven't really been myself and its staring to bother me. i don’t paint for me anymore cause im so busy with school. i’ve been really distant form everyone. i used to be fun, happy and witty, wtf happened? im so bitter lately. even when im out with all my friends i feel out of place. i always have a good time with them but i question if it will last long. why do i always need more? i have so much and still im not content. i have this problem of pushing people away, as soon as i get close to someone, i back off. i used to be able to open up to people and now i put my guard up. i wont let myself get emotionally attached to anyone or anything. i've become a pro at keeping people at arms length that i fear i’ll never let anyone in. im so cold now, and emotionless. i can drop people like that and not think twice about who im hurting along the way. i can't even live in the same place to long. i’ve been here for less then a year and though i love it here, i feel there's always something missing. something im searching for, that i feel like i’ll never find. i don't know what it is, but i’ll know when i find it, because i’ll be completely content with where i am in life and not question anything. but i fear that day, cause when i do find whatever im looking for, what will be left to live for?

Last night I went to first friday. For those of you who don't know, In Philly, on the first friday of every month, a bunch of galleries are open for free. So last night I went to this one gallery. The installations were pretty cool and I saw a lot of interesting stuff I would have never thought of. Going to galleries usually inspire me and make me want to go home and create. But for some reason last night I stood there and thought, will I ever be good enough to have my own show.? I think my work is pretty descent but but lately I feel my creativity is lacking. It might be because in school im forced to draw and paint stuff im not interested in. I spend soo much of my time doing work for school, that I don't have the time to do my own work. Even when I get the time, im to sick of drawing or painting crap all day, that I don't feel like doing anymore. I'm putting so much effort into my school art, that my own art and creativity is suffering. I used to make art just for the love of it and now I have to for a grade. I've got all A's and my professors want me to tutor next year, but I feel like im missing something.
Im working on a paper for writing class and the topic is "MY ART VISION". I came to a stand still writing this because idk any more what my vision is. Growing up all I wanted to do was paint. Art is my life and I don't know what or who I am with out it. I just want to make art for the love of making it, and the whole time im here im told that's not good enough. My writing teacher said, "to be a good artist, your art should have an effect on society." but i don't feel i should strive to create art for that purpose alone. Yeah I want people to connect with my art and have it effect society. But giving me those limits will only diminish my creativity. Shouldn't my goal be to make art for the love of making it, and hope that someone along the way will connect with it as I do. Maybe im not looking at it in a business way of making money and surviving, but if your just looking for money, get a new profession. Art is about the love and passion of creating art, not about how much cash you can walk away with.

new years eve was disappointing i must say...i should have known. ohh well maybe next year it will be better. that is if im not home.

So yeahh i just got my grades and i did better then i thought. at crit my 2D teacher told me i was getting a B+...i guess he changed his mind. YAY!


Course/Section and Title. Grade Credits
1 FAPT*101 01 Freshman Painting. A 1.50
2 FNDP*111 01 Drawing. A- 3.00
3 FNDP*121 01 Two Dimensional Design. A- 3.00
4 FNDP*131 01 Three Dimensional Design. A 3.00

being home just reminds me of how much things have changed. i wish i was in Philly so i wouldn't think about it. at least there, i'm sooo busy all the time that i don't have time to look back, and i like it that way. home just makes me feel like i'm moving backwards. it's an uneasy feeling.

the only thing that has stayed the same is my family and the few friends i have left from Nutley. but every thing here sucks. i woke up at 3:45pm because it was my day off. i feel like i'm wasting my life away.

-4 and 20 more to go.

what the fuck am i doing.

last night, after i got out of class at 7, i met up with my sister and went to the Pennywise show. it was awesome. me and my sis tore up the place and kick a few guys asses. they played a lot of old stuff and some of the new. the show ended at 11 but we left at 10:45 cause we had Harry Potter tickets. i really wanted to stay till the end of the show, but we left right after Fuck Authority which is an amazing song. so i was happy.

then we took a cab to the movie theater to see Harry Potter. we got there around 11 and the line was a whole city block long. then we stood outside for an hour freezing our asses off. when we finally got inside, it was fucking crazy. we spent 22$ on snacks and drinks. the place was packed but we got really good sets. the movie was AWESOME...sooo good! even though they left some stuff out. by the time we got out it was 3am. then i took a cab home and passed out.

i just woke up at 1:30 it feels good to sleep in. i love that i don't have class on fridays.

now i'll spend the rest of my weekend doing homework.

my sister call to tell me that my mom thinks i'm a conniving lier, though i have not lied.

i feel like i lost the best part of me. though it was my choice. maybe it was the right one maybe the wrong one, but i didn't know what else to do.

i feel like i'm hurting everyone in my life right now....maybe i should just isolate myself from everyone for a while? i've been told i'm good at that.

i feel like i don't know myself anymore.

i'm so confused about everything right now...

i sliced my finger open with an ex-acto this morning at 8am, and its still bleeding... 8hrs later.

my writing class was canceled so ive been out of class since 11:30. i love when that happens.

i just woke up, i've been sleeping since 1.

and andria is coming over later to do our 3D homework and eat pasta.



....i think i need a new band-aid

everything is so confusing right now. things are not the way they should be...why is that?


i miss everything...and everyone...

my boys from back home, the guys that bring back memories. that i can just chill with and forget that everything else exist. my best friends no matter what. the three friends of mine that make me the happiest...

1. JC, my awesome filipino friend that moved to texas. going to shows and listening to the bouncing souls. ( 4hrs for a big mac)

2. Bryan Lopez, (aka...BLo) my crazy, listening to records, diving aimlessly, going to diners, best friend.

3. Kyle Burton, haha my ridicules, random crazy shit all the time friend, driving to sea side in a broken ass car, photo booths with jc and diners galore.

its never a dull time when im with u guys. i miss u all sooooo much. just wanted to let u know that no mater where i go u'll always be my favorite boys. ur like brothers to me.


i also miss.. my girls, thats i havnt even talked to in months.

1. morgin... ur like my sister.

2. rose... ur crazy and i love it

3. lauren...where have u been?

i love u all and i miss u tons.





p.s. there are other people i miss so dont be mad if i didnt mention ur name. i just felt the need to mention a few.

yeah i know its been awhile since my last update. Philly is awesome i love it here. school is great but i have no time to do anything.
i have so much work to do this weekend. due monday...i have to build a free standing tent for 3D class. paint a grid of 3d shapes for 2D class, and write a paper. for tuesday i have to draw a painting by vermeer. the past few days i've been at the studio till 3am working. i haven't slept much but its worth it if my work comes out good. so this weekend i'm not leaving my apartment or the studio until all my work is done.

i miss all of you and when i get the time i'll come home to visit. if you ever want to come down to Philly, let me know and i'll make time so we can hang out.


<3 gina

well i move in a few hrs. good bye New Jersey hello Philadelphia. don't worry i'll be back to visit...i'm still a Jersey kid at heart. i wont have a computer right away so u might not here from me for a while...but i hope thats not the case. to everyone i didn't get the chance to see before i left good bye for now. i'll see u when i come back. keep in touch kids don't forget about me.

for now i'll just leave u with this...

i've met some people along the way.
some of them split some of them stay.
some of them walk they walk on by,
i've got a few friends i'll love till i die

- u know who u are my true believers

i love u all
<3 Gina

HELLFEST CANCELLED!!! BOUNCING SOULS, LIFETIME, and LOVED ONES reschedule show for AUGUST 21st at the legendary STONE PONY in ASBURY PARK, NJ! Doors open at 6 p.m. and all ages are admitted.

SOMEONE PLEASE GO WITH ME. NEED TO SEE THE BOUNCING SOULS BEFORE I MOVE TO PHILLY.

tickets are only 20$

lets go PLEASE!!!!!


let me know

<3 Gina

well i'm back from Jamaica! it's good to be home. nicole and i had an awesome time, but i think a week is to long to spend there. i missed my cell phone and talking to mark. i spent $50 bucks on phone cards and a dollar to connect each time which was a pain in the ass.i all so missed real chocolate, orange juice, Poland Spring water, and ketchup...it's the little things that count.

i didn't like that the hotel only had one clock so u never knew the time. the towel hut never had clean towels and when they did the guy wouldn't give me one so i had to stand there while he hit on me. and this annoying entertainment guy Damion who kept bordering us and proposed to nicole...haha, but yeah he was irritating. and the scary Jamaican jet ski man that wanted to take me on a ride to a special place for a date. and the power kept going out and there were lots of bugs. and that the second question out of everyones mouth was "are u single"...get over it i'm takin.

...but on the up side we, slept until 12 in our ocean front room, all u can eat buffet for lunch and dinner, sit in/by the pool/beach for several hours. we played water polo and volley ball. went to a beach party and the bar & club...no drinking age in Jamaica. we also saw a steel drum band and a Jamaican ra-sta band. drove the jet skies around. then we went on the glass bottom bout and sang some songs with the jamaicans, swam in a cave and jumped off a 35ft cliff into the cave...what a rush.

on the plain ride back home nicole and i were supposed to sit in the 2nd to last row with this guy, but the back row was empty so we sat back there instead and got to spread out and put our feet up...better then first class id say. i took a nice nap and was on my way back to jersey.

i had an awesome trip but i'm glad to be home. the most disappointing thing though, is that i took so many great pictures and on the last night i was there i lost my digital camera. i left my address & number so if they find it they can mail it to me...but what are my chances.

now that i'm home hit up my cell and we'll hang out before i move to Philly on the 26th.

so Kyle and I are stupid...but i'll get to that part later.

i went down to Nutley yesterday to hang out with my good friend Kyle. we went to the dinner as usual, then off the shop right to visit JC at work. we paged him to the back of the store like we were costumers in need of assistance, to JC's surprise it was us. we then took JC to BK on his break. after we drooped him back at work we went to Kyle's house to think of something to do...and think we did.

there was nothing left to do in Nutley so at 8pm we decided to go on a little road trip to Sea Side. i couldn't take my car cause it stalls so we called up Michelle and she drove, that wasn't such a good idea either. all was well until 9pm and a few blocks from the board walk Michelle's car started smoking. we pulled over in a gas station, and the guy there "tried" to help us out. unfortunately he had no idea what he was talking about. so tried to drive to another gas station. well, the car stalled at a light and we barley got it to the corner of the road. we left a sign on the car that read "my car is broken please don't give me a ticket" because it was one hour parking. Michelle called her dad and he came to get us. so while we waited for him we walk to the board walk, went on some rides, took pics in the photo booth, got funnel cake and lots of soda. at 11pm her dad called and found the car. we drove back in his car and he took Michelle's. i was supposed to be home by 12, but we didnt get back to Nutely until 12:30 and i still had to dive 30min back to Rockaway, so instead got home at 1.

next time kyle and i get bored and decide to go on a road trip, we should do it a little earlier. and lets try driving a car that actually works.

haha anyway we had an awesome night filled with adventure. good times!

i leave for Jamaica in 10 days! i'll be back August 6th. i can't wait.

for those of you who care i move to Philly on August 26th...

to everyone else, peace out.

i know i don't update much but i'm still here. i'v been very busy lately. not working because i still don't have a job, but i've been hanging out with a lot of my friends i haven't seen in a while. it's nice being around the people that you'll always be friends with no matter where you go.

this past week has been none stop for me, i went to Philly. saw some movies with michelle. got my Harry Potter book. hung out with my sister...shes back from italy and she brought me fun stuff. hung out with morgin the other day it's was nice seeing her. saw jc yesterday and spent all my money, but it was worth it. today i'm hanging out with nicole, swimming and lunch at her house. thursday i'm hanging out with Bryan, we all ways have a good time. and friday i chillin with kyle.

i know its a bit much but i want to see as many of my friends as i can before we all leave.

if anyone wants to chill next week i'm available so give me a call before i make plans with someone else.